


in the soft, silent night

by platinum_firebird



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Size Difference, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:42:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21617797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platinum_firebird/pseuds/platinum_firebird
Summary: Under the cover of night and in the press of Coruscant's masses, it's easy to hide an illicit liaison, even between two Jedi.
Relationships: Original Male Character(s)/Original Male Character(s), Rare Alien Male Jedi/Human Male Jedi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20
Collections: Star Wars Rare Pairs Exchange 2019





	in the soft, silent night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ASadHermitStory](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASadHermitStory/gifts).



> I don't know if Dowutin technically count as rare, but humour me (it's because I love size difference kink)

They never meet in the Temple. Even in the privacy of their own rooms, the risk is too high. Instead, one of them will rent a room, and send the address; and an hour or so later the other will appear at the door.

Tonight Azin is the one who picked the room; he lets Jayash in without a word, then retreats to sit on the bed, his craggy face sombre.

Jayash perches on the bed beside him and lays a hand on his. “Was it bad?” he asks in a whisper.

Azin nods. “Most of them died,” he says, his voice so low Jayash can barely hear it.

“Oh, Az.” It’s impossible for Jayash to get his arms completely around Azin’s much bigger form, so instead he draws Azin’s head down onto his shoulder. Azin’s thick arms go around him, and they simply stay there for a while, letting their emotions bleed into and flow through each other in the quiet of the Force. Jayash can feel Azin’s pain, his anguish and frustration, but above all he can feel the searing self-hatred that roils and bubbles under the surface of his mind. “It wasn’t your fault,” he says, because he can see the images in Azin’s mind, can see him trying so hard to save as many lives as possible. “It wasn’t your fault,” he says, because it needs to be spoken aloud, even if Azin can hear it in his thoughts.

“And yet still I cannot convince myself,” Azin whispers. “I keep going over- if I had been there, or done that-”

Jayash pulls back and lays a finger over Azin’s lips. “Even a Jedi cannot see all futures.”

Slowly Azin nods; then he gently takes Jayash’s hand, presses a kiss to the palm. “How did you get so wise in so short a time, Jayash Songhi?” he says softly.

“The bitter experience of being a Jedi Knight?”

Despite what he’s faced in the last few days, Azin manages to smile in response to that. “It’s not quite what I imagined when we were padawans.”

“When I was a padawan I imagined slaying ten Sith Lords before breakfast each morning, so no, it’s not going _quite_ how I imagined,” Jayash says, grinning.

“I for one am glad there are no Sith Lords for you to slay.” Azin’s hand comes up and gently strokes the side of his face. “If there were, I would worry about you too much to let you out of my sight.”

“If that meant I got to spend all my time with you…”

Azin laughs, and Jayash takes that moment to lean in and kiss him. His lips are rough, his mouth really too big for a human mouth to kiss, but Jayash makes it work, resting his hands over the points of Azin’s chin horns so they won’t prick his neck. Azin kisses him back, but Jayash can feel the swell of regret and even more self-hatred deep inside him. “Az,” he whispers, pulling back.

“I know,” he says, his sigh saying all the things he doesn’t speak aloud. _I should never have pulled you into this_.

Jayash presses a hand to his cheek. “You never pulled me into anything,” he whispers. “I make my own choices, always - and I stand by them. Even the wrong ones.”

Azin’s arms tighten around him. “Even this one?”

“This isn’t a wrong choice,” Jayash says, and kisses him again.

They were uncomfortable and awkward, the first time. They were rushed, passionate and longing but crippled by doubt and overwhelming guilt. Azin had barely been able to look him in the eye, and they’d stopped halfway through because he was so worried about hurting Jayash.

Now, they are more practised, their movements familiar and polished. Azin’s huge form still dwarfs Jayash’s, but they know now how careful they have to be, and how far they can push things. Azin takes his time peeling off Jayash’s robes, pressing his huge mouth and his rough, almost scaly skin to all the soft, pale patches he reveals. Eventually they’re both naked, relishing the feel of alien skin against their own, touching and kissing and caressing. “I forget, sometimes, just how beautiful you are,” Azin whispers in his ear, and Jayash begs him not to wait too much longer.

They’ve discovered through a long course of trial and error that their size difference requires rather a _lot_ of preparation. At first Azin didn’t even think this was possible for them, but Jayash encouraged him, desperate to try. He starts with the fingers, each of them twice the thickness of the average human’s. He lavishes the lubrication across Jayash’s tight hole, drawing out the pull and thrust of his fingers, making Jayash wait longer and longer before he adds each one, until Jayash is gasping and writhing and begging in his arms. Azin’s fingers make a slick, wet noise as they pull and push out of Jayash, and Jayash can’t help but clench around him, waves of tension and pleasure shaking through him. “Az, please, now, now, I’m ready, please,” he begs, half-incoherent with need.

“You’re sure?” Azin asks, his own voice strained. Jayash knows he’s holding back, can see the half-formed image in Azin’s mind, the fantasy he has of holding Jayash down and fucking him relentlessly until Jayash is screaming in pleasure.

“Please, do that, do that,” he moans, dragging the image forward in both their minds.

Azin gives a deep, full-body shudder. “It might hurt,” he whispers.

“I don’t care,” Jayash says, and presses his mouth to Azin’s again.

Azin drops him on the bed and then looms over him, spreading his legs almost as wide as they’ll go so that they fit around his massive hips. Jayash can see the pure _want_ in his eyes, as much as he can feel it echoing and shivering through their bond in the Force. “Please,” he whispers, and it’s the straw that breaks the bantha’s back.

Azin pushing into him still stings, even despite their preparation, but Jayash relishes it. Azin goes slow, so tortuously slow, and Jayash begs and pleads with him to go faster, even as he knows it would hurt more if Azin weren’t so careful. Sensible thoughts have been left far behind; all he wants now is Azin, deep and thick and _full_ , so full, deep within him.

He throws back his head and moans when Azin bottoms out in him. “Don’t move, don’t,” he gasps; he needs a moment or he’s going to come right now, just from the feel of all of Azin, deep inside him.

Azin presses kisses to his face, over his hot skin. “Beautiful, so beautiful, look at you,” he murmurs, and after a moment he moves anyway, unable to hold himself back. His thrusts are slow and gentle, careful not to hurt Jayash, but even then they’re the most intense thing Jayash has ever felt. He loses himself in the feeling, the incredible stretch and _fullness_ , just the feeling of Azin inside him-

And he can feel it all reflected back at him from Azin, the love and passion and desire, the Force between them humming and twisting, almost moaning in pleasure itself. The way they want each other is bone-deep, hungry and animal and overwhelming, and Jayash can feel the way he feels around Azin, the way Azin feels to be buried deep inside him, the tightness and the heat and-

All at once it’s too much, and Jayash’s body lights up like a supernova, everything echoing and rebounding through him and the Force as they both reach the end together.

Later, wrapped up in each other’s arms, Azin says, “Sometimes I think…”

Jayash blinks at him sleepily, stroking soft patterns across his broad face. “What?”

“Sometimes I wonder about leaving the Jedi.”

Shock rings through Jayash like a clear note struck from a bell. “It’s that bad?” he asks, moving closer in Azin’s arms.

“It’s bad, but I wouldn’t trade that part of it. Just, sometimes I have to abide by something the Council insists on, even when I think it _can’t_ be right…” Azin’s eyes turn to him. “And then I think about you. I know what the Council would say if they found out about this - I think it myself, too, most of the time, but… when we’re here…”

“It feels right, doesn’t it?” Jayash whispers. “Like we’re supposed to be here.”

Azin nods.

“Where would you go, if you left the Jedi?” Jayash asks.

“The same places I go now - but I wouldn’t be constrained. Not by anyone.”

“You could do good. Your way.”

“Yes.”

Jayash smiles. “And I could come with you.”

“Or you could stay somewhere _safe_.” Jayash just raises his eyebrows, and a low laugh bursts out of Azin. “Yes, I know you don’t like playing it safe.”

“I don’t like that the Council makes me, either.”

They’re silent for a long moment before Azin says, “Then maybe we _should_ think about it.”

“Yes. We should.” Jayash presses his forehead against Azin’s. “But no matter where I go, it’ll be with you.”

“Always,” Azin promises, and pulls him in for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
